divorce

What a horrible word...divorce. It’s filled w/ negative connotations, but why? Why does everyone think that someone going through a divorce is horribly miserable? Is it the eternal battle of good versus bad? Marriage vs. Divorce?

As I’m going through this experience, I’m taken back to a moment in my life that I’ll always remember. I was driving down the street as a single teenager and saw an older man, still in his 30’s, with shoe polish on his back window telling the world, "Just Divorced". I drove up next to his driver’s side window and stole a glance. He looked miserable and completely pissed at the world. I wondered what was going on in his life and what possessed him to exclaim to the world that he was recently single and so pissed about it. But the question still haunts me today, "why was he so unhappy?"

Believe me, I know it sucks to lose someone. The grieving process can be a bitch some days, but why would you let someone that is no longer in your life, and a process that can be tough control you and your happiness? Life is too short to lose a single day w/ regret and unhappiness. I’ve learned that I wasted WAY too much of my life being unhappy. Never again will I let anything or anybody control me and my happiness. I wake up every day and choose to be happy. Even through this bitch of a situation, I CHOOSE to be happy. It’s as simple as that. I can only control how I react to every situation that I come across. And from this day forward, from these past few weeks forward, from these past few months when I was married but single, I choose to be happy.

I don’t know what possessed me to share this. Maybe it’s because this day has been one of the more difficult. Maybe this is just my way of convincing myself to stick with my newfound enlightenment. I don’t know if anyone would even read this. Who would? My ex, who is checking up on me? Fine. I hope she can find this same peace. My friends? Great. They can understand me a little better w/out needing to go through the awkward question dripping w/ ulterior references of, "how are you doing?" A complete stranger? Even better. If anyone can learn from my experience then I will feel even more fulfilled that I have left my mark on someone and have helped them to some sort of revelation. I don’t wish this on anyone, but I do hope everyone can learn from my experience...