the fickleness of life

Oh, how fickle life can be. As I reflect about this yet again, I can't help but laugh to myself. It amuses me, and almost seems ironic, that we place such an great emphasis on the relationships we have, but when they dissolve, life somehow goes on. Not only does our existence go on, but it can become even more fulfilling if you let it. I'm sure some of the truly meaningful relationships we have would leave a void of sorts should it be removed, but even in that event, life will still go on. Give it a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a few months, but the normalcy of life will return. I look around and see so many people that are over reliant on another, so many people that define their lives by the people that are in it and I feel a twinge of embarrassment that I used to submit to that way of thinking.

I spent our neighbor's independence day out celebrating with a few friends and it seemed to serve as a capstone to reclaiming some of the relationships I lost over the years. At a favorite bar downtown, I randomly ran into several people I used to know very well but had lost touch with: my best friend from childhood, my first girlfriend, a girl I spent four years of my life running with at ksu, a guy I spent a few years of my life working next to every day. These were all people that I had regarded as important, but for one reason or another, had taken separate paths through life and had been removed from my consciousness. I've spent the past few months attempting to reconnect with these types of figures in my life, but to what avail? Should they disappear from my life again, it will still go on.

I still get a great sense of satisfaction from connecting with friends and family and I will always value the relationships I have. The best times of my life and the memories I cherish the most are the result of the relationships I had or even still have. But, I've learned to recognize the fine line I need to balance on when it comes to depending on anyone else other than myself. It sounds so cliche, but I'm going to live my life to the fullest, enjoy the relationships I have while I have them, and assume that the time I spend with others could be the last. I will embrace the people in my life, but that's as far as it goes.